The ultimate guide to Spring

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Hello my friends. Ah springtime, the Vernal Equinox (That sounds like dirty BTW), the time when the snow is almost gone and the rabbits are completely horny. It’s also the time when I like to play a little game called doo-doo caching. That’s a game where I find in the back yard all the socks and other things that my dog has eaten over the winter. Is there an app for that? The story continues on Twitter. Don’t make the baby animals sad, you should follow us on Twitter here. 

Unicorn spotted Saturday night was actually a dog with a traffic cone stuck on its head

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Eau Claire Wis. (ABM)

A unicorn spotted Saturday night by two Eau Claire men was actually a dog with a traffic cone stuck on its head

says Sheriff’s Department Deputy J. Smith.

The Amish Baby Machine reports on Saturday night BFFs Hunter Dickson and Jeremy Poon were in Poon’s Garage around 2:30 a.m. celebrating their totally awesome win on Call of Duty when they were startled by a loud noise.

Poon stated “We kicked some kids’ ass on COD and celebrated by pounding Grumpy’s Bitter Irony IPA when we heard a loud noise and spotted a majestic creature that was totally a unicorn.”

“We immediately called Animal Planet but they didn’t answer so we called 911.” Said Poon.

“I’m like you dudes totally need to bring a Barrett .50 Cal cause this this thing is huge!” Poon also stated.

Deputies later arrived at the residence and removed an orange traffic cone from the family dog, a very frightened Golden Doodle named Mr. Smoodles.

When asked about the incident, Deputy Smith Said. “It’s all in a day’s work.”