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Amish Baby Machine Pop Culture Podcast

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Amish Baby Machine Pop Culture Podcast

Tag Archives: mommy rant

Amish moms be like

27 Monday Apr 2015

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amish, amish baby, Amish Baby Machine, comedy, Cosplay, kids, mommy rant, parenting, podcast, superman

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Hey single, childless people, I’ll see your debilitating hangover and raise you a hysterical 4 year old that won’t leave the house without wearing his Superman costume.

Lara L’Amish

Amish moms be like

11 Saturday Apr 2015

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American pop culture, amish, amish baby, amish baby machine podcast, comedy, Funny, kids, mommy rant, parenting, sick kids

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The very best part if having kids is that they are sick every time I have to go to something I don’t want to.

Lara L’Amish

The unbelievable power of thought

28 Saturday Feb 2015

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advice, amish, amish baby, amish baby machine podcast, amish wisdom, comedy, daily inspirations, Funny, funny mommy, it's the thought that counts, life skils, mommy, mommy rant, mommy wisdom, podcast, the power of positive thought, wisdom

“It’s the thought that counts” never applies. Especially when it comes to showering. You have to actually do that.

Lara L’Amish

Amish moms be like

09 Monday Feb 2015

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advice on women, amish, amish baby, amish baby machine podcast, amish moms, comedy, dating advice, dating rants, men, mommy, mommy rant, mommy rants, mommy wisdom, podcast, relationship advice, sex advice, women

man and woman fighting
 I’ve heard men say that women who wear sweatpants outside of the house have given up on life. This is true, to some extent. The truth is that we women, much like the illuminati, have our own secret language that we use to silently communicate with one another. It’s well known that women have the capacity to take on Herculean tasks, in multitude, while making it seem effortless. But even the best of us have our breaking points. Wearing sweatpants out of the house wordlessly says to our fellow females, “No. I can’t have lunch. I can not pick up your children for you. I will not volunteer for your committee. I just can’t.” It doesn’t end there. Pairing sweatpants with either uggs in the winter or crocs in the summer translates to: “I haven’t slept. I just cleaned up barf. I haven’t showered in days and can’t walk because I sprained my ankle tripping on my kids friggin toys. So help me G-d, if you ask me to pick you up from the airport I will inflict bodily harm.” Many men are confused by the intentions of women in sweatpants. They see it as the “bored housewife syndrome”, or as an unspoken “I have a headache, don’t ask me for sex”. This is simply not true. That’s what flannel pajamas are for. In fact, women still want to look desirable to men while wearing their sweatpants, which is how the juicy couture line got its start. They figured, as long as there is something shiny on these pants, like sequins, men will still flock to us. And they were right! So, the next time you see a woman clad in her “bootylicious” sweatpants, with her hair bunched up with a scrunchy, looking as though she’s given up on life, do her a solid. Tell her she’s beautiful and hand her a drink.
Lara L’Amish

Amish moms be like

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

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amish, amish baby, amish baby machine podcast, amish mom, amish wisdom, comedy, kids, kids birthday party, mommy, mommy rant, mommy wisdom, parenting, parenting advice, parenting fail, podcast

This kid at a birthday party for my son’s friend pooped his pants and got to go home. Must admit, I seriously considered that option.

Lara L’Amish

Amish moms be like

30 Friday Jan 2015

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American pop culture, amish, amish baby, amish baby machine podcast, amish wisdom, comedy, comedy podcast, mommy rant, mommy rants, moms be like, parenting, parenting advice, parenting fail, podcast

My kids just threw away bubble wrap without popping it. I’m raising animals.

Lara L’Amish

Amish moms be like

16 Friday Jan 2015

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amish, amish baby, Amish Baby Machine, amish mom, amish wisdom, comedy podcast, einstein, Funny, house work, kids, mommy, mommy rant, podcast, Rants

Not to negate Einstein’s genius, but I think the real definition of insanity is thinking you can keep a clean house with small children.

Lara L’Amish

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